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2002-11-06/7
Paul
Gauguin B. 6.7.1848 Paris / D. 5.8.1903 Atuana,
Marquesas Alchoholism/Syphilis
This is
not a book. I've done it! I've created the perfect life: I live
in a perpetual and jonquil-bright Week One of new regimes. Keep everything
strange, this is my motto; through the organs of sense admit the
unfamiliar only (this is another version of my motto). Like a song that
seems on first hearing atonal, maintain the world on a cusp, before it
turns into Cinnamon Girl or Shattered for the eleven hundredth
time. This is not a book. I love my food. I
hope that I can eat it all before it spoils. I tossed two mangos down the
heron throat of waste, a daily fruit allotment with their fine forms
gulped away. Now it's nearly time to part with Saturday's knish in its
sweet small brown paper bag that I keep on the counter. I love my food.
Sometimes I like to look at it too long, is all. This is not a
book. Ever since I moved to Brighton Beach to write a screenplay, various
members of the lesbian Everest expedition team have been e-mailing me bad
news of the world. (Now that I'm even further from Manhattan they can't
imagine that I'd hear it otherwise.) A book, even a bad
book, is a serious affair. A phrase that might be excellent in the fourth
chapter would be all wrong in the second, and it is not everybody who
knows the trick. China gets its dam on, voters unite; bad
decision-making of the world! I ask: How many more Barabbases are left to
be preferred by now?
Quotations from Paul Gauguin's Intimate
Journals (1903)
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